In most cases, after a relationship has broken up due to an affair, what suffers the most other than the love relationship is the friendship.
Often, couples have started out as friends, some even for long periods of time.
It might have been an old school mate, someone from a place you might have previously worked, or even someone you met through mutual acquaintances.
These friendships obviously were very tight or you wouldn't have moved on to a romantic relationship.
In attempting to get your ex back after an affair, one of the most important aspects is rebuilding the friendship.
That friendship was obviously what you began your relationship upon, so it only makes sense that the same friendship must be repaired first.
As strange as it may sound, often the loss of the friendship hurts worse than the actual romantic aspect.
Many relationships are built on the wrong foundation.
For example, when I was young I had no problem getting girlfriends, because usually what we were each looking for was to fulfill some desire of the flesh such as intimacy, excitement, jealousy, etc.
Although many of these lasted for a while, the foundation was weak. It had no substance.
However, there were a few that were built on a strong foundation of friendship first, therefore having more strength, and inevitably, when severed, causing a greater sense of loss.
Hence, the pain of the breaking up goes deeper. It becomes more emotional. And also harder to get over.
Therefore, it often becomes more desirable to do whatever you can to get your ex back.
Even though you may have had an affair, the relationship can be repaired. But, it will require time and effort.
Becoming friends again is one of the key steps to getting your ex back.
To do this, you must first realize what it was that brought you together as friends.
Maybe it was a hobby, a common interest in arts, a particular place you both liked to go. Whatever it was, return to that thought pattern.
Don't just try to get your lost love to love you again. First they need to like you. And, to do that, they need to also see what it was that drew them to you in the beginning.
It might have been your sense of humor, your honesty, etc. Whatever it was, that is the first aspect that they need to remember. They need to see YOU again, and not "their ex".
Let them know how you feel. Honesty is the best policy.
Admit your fault, and seek to rebuild that friendship with them.
Determine if you both still have the same interests. Oftentimes, neglecting this aspect is what leads to breakup in the first place.
There might no longer be anything in common. Desires or habits may change, leading to boredom.
If this has happened, you need to look at the situation and actually determine if getting your ex back is really in both of your best interests.
If not, accept it, and move on. If it is, get to know each other again. Work on having fun "around them" instead of wanting to be romantic "with them".
Show them you are still the same person that they used to LIKE!
Remind them of the fun things you used to do together, the places you used to hang out.
If these were fond memories for them, your chances for success again are greater.
But, whatever you do, DO NOT overdo it. Do Not Push! The worst thing you want right now is to push them further away.
They will have all of their precautionary instincts honed right now, so easy does it!
Take your time in this approach. If this relationship is worth repairing, it is worth waiting on.
Just be the person you used be, the one they wanted to be friends with in the beginning, and if they show they are not interested, you won't have built up such strong "romantic" expectations.
Just remember, you can't make them want you. That is still ultimately up to them.
Often, couples have started out as friends, some even for long periods of time.
It might have been an old school mate, someone from a place you might have previously worked, or even someone you met through mutual acquaintances.
These friendships obviously were very tight or you wouldn't have moved on to a romantic relationship.
In attempting to get your ex back after an affair, one of the most important aspects is rebuilding the friendship.
That friendship was obviously what you began your relationship upon, so it only makes sense that the same friendship must be repaired first.
As strange as it may sound, often the loss of the friendship hurts worse than the actual romantic aspect.
Many relationships are built on the wrong foundation.
For example, when I was young I had no problem getting girlfriends, because usually what we were each looking for was to fulfill some desire of the flesh such as intimacy, excitement, jealousy, etc.
Although many of these lasted for a while, the foundation was weak. It had no substance.
However, there were a few that were built on a strong foundation of friendship first, therefore having more strength, and inevitably, when severed, causing a greater sense of loss.
Hence, the pain of the breaking up goes deeper. It becomes more emotional. And also harder to get over.
Therefore, it often becomes more desirable to do whatever you can to get your ex back.
Even though you may have had an affair, the relationship can be repaired. But, it will require time and effort.
Becoming friends again is one of the key steps to getting your ex back.
To do this, you must first realize what it was that brought you together as friends.
Maybe it was a hobby, a common interest in arts, a particular place you both liked to go. Whatever it was, return to that thought pattern.
Don't just try to get your lost love to love you again. First they need to like you. And, to do that, they need to also see what it was that drew them to you in the beginning.
It might have been your sense of humor, your honesty, etc. Whatever it was, that is the first aspect that they need to remember. They need to see YOU again, and not "their ex".
Let them know how you feel. Honesty is the best policy.
Admit your fault, and seek to rebuild that friendship with them.
Determine if you both still have the same interests. Oftentimes, neglecting this aspect is what leads to breakup in the first place.
There might no longer be anything in common. Desires or habits may change, leading to boredom.
If this has happened, you need to look at the situation and actually determine if getting your ex back is really in both of your best interests.
If not, accept it, and move on. If it is, get to know each other again. Work on having fun "around them" instead of wanting to be romantic "with them".
Show them you are still the same person that they used to LIKE!
Remind them of the fun things you used to do together, the places you used to hang out.
If these were fond memories for them, your chances for success again are greater.
But, whatever you do, DO NOT overdo it. Do Not Push! The worst thing you want right now is to push them further away.
They will have all of their precautionary instincts honed right now, so easy does it!
Take your time in this approach. If this relationship is worth repairing, it is worth waiting on.
Just be the person you used be, the one they wanted to be friends with in the beginning, and if they show they are not interested, you won't have built up such strong "romantic" expectations.
Just remember, you can't make them want you. That is still ultimately up to them.
For more information on repairing broken relationships,
get The Magic of Making Up here!
